


More than a name

by Silverkleptofox



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Angst, Gen, Zeno centric, spoilers for 100+
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:03:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5779777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverkleptofox/pseuds/Silverkleptofox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You don't have to refer to us so formally, Zeno. We're family, you can call us by our names." Kija had said.</p><p>But it was so much more than that, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More than a name

"Say, Xeno..." Kija said after swallowing his last bite of dinner. It had been peaceful for a couple days on the road between villages, giving the Happy Hungry Bunch some time to relax.

"Yes, Hakuryuu?" Xeno replied with his mouth full. 

"You don't have to refer to us so formally anymore." Kija replied. "We're all brothers. You can call us by our names- we are family after all."

Xeno's eyes went wide and he gasped, acc dentally inhaling some stew and choking on his next bite. Shinha thumped him on the back as he coughed. "Xe... Xeno's alright." He sputtered out. "Thank you Seiryuu... Ah..." He couldn't bring himself to say the blue dragon's name. "Xeno is full for tonight. Thank you for the meal, young lad." He said somberly as he stood. Everyone stared in shocked silence as Xeno walked off into the surrounding woods. He hadn't even finished his meal... Xeno usually was the first one to clean his plate and ask for seconds, as if he hadn't eaten in years, for him to leave even a morsel, something wasn't right.  
"Did I say something wrong?" Kija asked nervously. He had never meant to offend his brother.  
Jaeha stood. "I'll go after him..."  
"No." Hak said. "Leave him be. I'm sure he's not angry with you, Kija. He probably just needs some time alone."  
Kija nodded solemnly and placed his chopsticks over his bowl. He had lost his appetite as well, it seemed. Shinha cautiously placed a hand on Kija's shoulder and gave it an awkward pat. 

\-----

Xeno hadn't even realized. 

Had he ever called Hakuryuu by his name? He couldn't remember. What even was the current Hakuryuu's name? Oh right... Kija. Kija was his name. And Shinha, and Jaeha were the others. 

He had seen so many generations of dragon's children be born, grow, and die. He tried to remember their names, even one, but there was nothing. He couldn't remember any of their names. Not even one. At least one hundred generations had passed since Abi, Shuten, and Guen had walked the earth beside him.

Xeno remembered their names. 

How could he forget? His first brothers- whom he had promised to visit, but never did. Guen's son, the second Hakuryuu- he had never known his name. The village of the white dragon had chased him away.  
After that, he had wandered the earth, hoping to die. He forgot his own name. 

He had been fine with not having a name. It was pointless to him, in those days when he walked the earth alone. He had nothing to live for, no one important to him. There was no one who knew him, so no one needed to know his name. 

There was no point. 

Then he met Kaya, and he remembered. They lived together for a while. He had called her by name. She taught him to say his name in every sentence, so that he would always remember. She taught him the importance of his babe, gave him a reason to remember.

But then she was gone- Xeno had stayed by her side for months, caring for her. Even after her soul had gone to heaven, where he could not follow, he stayed by her dude unmoving until there was nothing left of her. 

That's what happened to everyone.  
They all died, eventually.  
And eventually was always so soon. And every time, it broke his heart- the one piece of him that could never heal. What was the point of getting close to anyone if they would just break his heart when they left? Xeno hasn't been close to anyone in so long, hadn't needed to learn anyone's name. He hasn't wanted to. 

But he was finally with the three other dragons again. This new generation reminded him so much of his original brothers. Shuten with his sharp teeth, the strong Guen, and Abi's fearlessness. But they were not the brothers he knew- their souls were the same, but the bodies and spirits were different. Somehow it still felt wrong to call them by the names their bodies and spirits now possessed. Xeno didn't want to admit to himself that they were different. 

But they were, and he had to stop living in the past. 

He wanted to grow close to this generation- his brothers- and Hiryuu, who finally walked the earth once more, but he was afraid.

So, so afraid. 

Because when they died, Xeno's heart would break like it never did before.  
And as Xeno sat in the clearing he had found and wrapped his arms around his knees he thought, maybe, if he kept his distance and didn't get attached, maybe he could survive when everyone else left him. 

 

\-----

Shinha had been keeping an eye on Xeno ever since he had abandoned his meal. The yellow dragon had found a spot in a clearing and had been sitting on the grass while everyone finished their dinner. It was getting late, and everyone was getting ready to sleep. Jaeha had already conked out in the big tent.

"You're worried about Xeno, aren't you?" Came a voice from behind Shinha. It was Yona, he knew without looking. He nodded once. He didn't say anything, but he could see that Xeno was crying.  
"You should go to him." Yona said. Shinha turned to her and tilted his head. "Kija means well, but he would only make things worse." She said, seeming to read his thoughts. "But Shinha is very understanding. That's what Xeno needs- someone to understand him." She smiled and gave him a pat on the shoulder before turning into her tent. Shinha took a deep breath and stepped into the woods.

\----

Xeno looked up from where his head was buried in his knees when he heard Shinha shuffling in the fallen leaves to his right.  
"Oh... Seiryuu what are you doing here?" He asked.  
Shinha fiddled with his hands nervously before shuffling over and plopping on the ground by Xeno's side. Ao squeaked and crawled over Xeno's shoulder and into his lap. 

They say like that in silence for a while, Xeno stroking Ao's fuzzy head in his lap. 

Xeno took a deep breath. "Have you ever had someone you cared about die?" He asked quietly.  
Shinha nodded.  
"Xeno has watched so many people die." Xeno muttered as he pet the squirrel's soft belly. "Everyone Xeno ever cared about. And it never hurts any less. So Xeno had to stop getting close to people. Xeno had to stop caring." He sniffed, and pulled Ao closer. 

Shinha leaned back on his hands and looked to the sky. He understood why Xeno was so reluctant to call everyone by their names. Calling someone by their name was acknowledging that person as someone worth talking to, as someone worth having around, someone you cared about.

"I never had a name." Shinha said softly. Xeno peeked out from his arms to look at Shinha's mask. "Yona gave me one." He said to the sky. Xeno's eyes widened. He knew what the Seiryuu village was like. He had visited many times over the years, but he never stayed very long. He never knew that village had grown so hateful. 

Xeno had been so selfish, not considering how his actions affected the others. It probably brought up bad memories for his younger brothers to be called Seiryuu and Ryokuryuu all the time, especially after their villages had treated them. Their names were important to them. He was so stupid. 

"I'm still a baby chick, Abi..." Xeno whispered tearfully. Shinha tilted his head in confusion. "I'm sorry... Sh...Shinha." He sniffed. "Abi was the first Seiryuu, the only one I ever called by name. Until today, I guess." He smiled mournfully. "Xeno is sorry if he ever brought you bad memories with his selfishness." Xeno cried into his arms. "Xeno... Xeno will try. To use your name. It will be very hard for me, but Xeno will try. And the others as well." He felt Shinha's arms engulf him in a warm embrace and he gasped, but Shinha didn't let go. "Don't think about later. We're here now." Shinha whispered. Xeno's breath hitched and let out a soft wail as he collapsed into Shinha's arms and let out two thousand years of grief. 

\-----

They awoke in that same field in the early morning, curled together in Shinha's fluff. Xeno had exhausted himself in his sadness and Shinha hadn't felt like moving him. 

They strolled back into camp to find Jaeha and Yun stirring a pot for breakfast and everyone else packing away the tents.  
"Xeno! You're back!" Kija ran over as soon as he saw the yellow dragon step into the campsite. He grabbed Xeno's shoulders and looked him up and down. "Are you alright? You were gone all night! We were worried about you, but Yona said to leave you be. I apologize for offending you, I only meant..."

"Xeno is alright." Xeno interrupted, placing one of his hand over Kija's scaly one. "Shinha made sure I was okay." He smiled. 

"I'm so glad." Kija sighed. Then he froze. "Wait... You said..."

"Yes." Xeno said softly. "Kija. Jaeha. Shinha.Yona, Yun, Hak..." He looked at each of them in turn, his azure eyes sparkling and still puffy from crying. "It is difficult for Xeno. But he will try." 

Jaeha's eyes widened and Yona covers her mouth as she gasped. Kija sniffed and enfolded Xeno into a tight hug. The others joined quickly. "That's all we ask." Kija replied. 

And for the first time in a long time, when Xeno smiled, he actually meant it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello yes I am Xeno trash. There wasn't enough fic in all three major sites so I had to write more. Please forgive me.


End file.
